When Oprah was in her 20s, she says she went looking for love in all the wrong places. In this "Oprah's Lifeclass" clip from 2011, she takes the lessons she learned from her past relationships and gives her viewers the timeless lesson that "love doesn't hurt" – and if it does, something is wrong.


"Think of all the times you let a man treat you badly, or someone -- your friends, walk all over you," Oprah says in the above video. "How many times have you let hurtful words or criticism crush you?"


"Well, I was one of those people who was raised not to have a lot of self-esteem," she continues. "The lesson of a whipping, the lesson of being heavily disciplined with violence, is that you're not worthy. That you're not good enough. It takes a long time to get a sense of self-worth and self-value."


Like many people in their 20s, Oprah says she wanted "to be validated by somebody else's view of who I was."


"And I've done some really embarrassing, ridiculous, crazy-ass things over the years," Oprah admits. In one relationship, she recalls "holding onto the bumper of a Datsun Z, like I could actually keep him from pulling off. And I remember one time, he had left and slammed the door on my hand."


Oprah says she had put up a barrier –- "you can say anything to me, but you cannot hit me," she says. "He didn't hit me, but the door slammed on my hand. And I thought, 'Well, that's coming close. That's coming very close.'"


She says she remembers the door slamming and falling to the floor. "And in front of me was a mirror, and I saw myself on the floor with my hand now bruised and thinking, 'I have become the woman that I watched my cousin Alice be my whole life as a kid.' The only difference is that I'm battered in spirit, and the next step is going to be -- who knows?"


"So lying there on the floor is the moment I made that decision that I have now become a woman that I never imagined myself to be," Oprah says, "and I've got to figure out how to get myself out of this."


This is the takeaway, she says: "Even though you want it to change, sometimes it takes a little longer to actually get the message that people who love you don't treat you badly. Love doesn't hurt. It's supposed to feel good."


"Oprah's Lifeclass" airs Sundays at 9 p.m. ET on OWN.



Earlier on HuffPost:




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  • "There is no greater gift you can give or receive than to honor your calling. It's why you were born. And how you become most truly alive." Photo: Oprah in 1956.




  • "What I know for sure is this: You are built not to shrink down to less, but to blossom into more. To be more extraordinary. To use every moment to fill yourself up." Photo: Oprah in 1960.




  • "The chance to love and be loved exists no matter where you are." Photo: Oprah in 1971.




  • "Everything you've ever done prepares you for all that you can do and be. Once you clarify your purpose for doing something, the way to do it becomes clear." Photo: Oprah in 1973.




  • "Life isn't about what you have but what you have to give." Photo: Oprah with Jesse Jackson in 1975.




  • "We're all called. If you're here breathing, you have a contribution to make." Photo: Oprah in 2003.




  • "Everything we've ever done and all we're meant to do comes together in harmony with who we are. When that happens, we feel the truest expressions of ourselves." Photo: Oprah in 2004.




  • "Your life's journey is about becoming more of who you are." Photo: Oprah with Gayle King in 2006.




  • "Alone time is when I distance myself from the voices of the world so I can hear my own." Photo: Oprah in 2007.




  • "I know for sure that only by owning who and what you are can you step into the fullness of life." Photo: Oprah with Eckhart Tolle in 2008.




  • "The happiness you feel is in direct proportion to the love you give." Photo: Oprah in 2009.




  • "If you allow yourself to breathe into the depth, wonder, beauty, craziness, and strife -- everything that represents the fullness of your life -- you can live fearlessly. Because you come to realize that if you just keep breathing you cannot be conquered." Photo: Oprah in 2009.




  • "No gesture is too small when done with gratitude." Photo: Oprah in 2009.




  • "Doubt means don't. Don't move. Don't answer. Don't rush forward." Photo: Oprah in 2010.