Monday, October 14, 2013

The Worst Sexy Halloween Costume: A Deathmatch


Halloween is a time for candy bars, parties and sexy costumes... lots of sexy costumes.


It seems like anything can be made into a suggestive costume these days: Sexy Hello Kitty, that's been done. Sexy banana? Believe it or not, that exists. There are countless provocative get-ups this time of year, but some are more awful than others. To help settle the great debate once and for all, we're asking you, America, to let us know: Which sexy Halloween costume is the worst?


Here's how the voting will go down:



  • Round One voting opens October 14 -- vote right now!



  • Tuesday, October 15 at 9:00am Eastern, Round Two begins.



  • Wednesday, October 16 at 9:00am Eastern, you'll be able to vote in Round Three.



  • Thursday morning, October 17, we'll announce which costume won the battle.



More inappropriate Halloween costumes:



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  • "Sexy" Burt & Ernie Costumes


    On second thought, maybe they <em>should</em> cut funding to PBS.




  • "Ring Toss" Costume


    The hat that says "Winner gets a free ride" is pretty much the worst.




  • The Nip Slip


    Is it still a "slip" if you do it on purpose?




  • Condom Dispenser


    At least he's promoting safe sex.




  • Female Inflatable Doll


    Yeah... This could get awkward.




  • Walking Sex


    Now you can make people uncomfortable all night long.




  • "Anna Rexia" Costume


    Because eating disorders are meant to be portrayed as sexy and hilarious, right?




  • Just A Penis


    Word to the wise: make sure you take your penis costume for a trial run at the local library before hitting the sidewalk.




  • Giant Boob


    At least he knows what he is.




  • Google Boobs


    Feeling lucky?




  • Middle Finger


    Facial expression not included.




  • "Anita Sedative" Costume


    When you're wearing a sexy costume to a Halloween party, it's probably a good idea to stay away from sedatives and not bring your own restraints.




  • "Happy Morning" Costume


    It's not surprising that this one's on clearance for $7.99.




  • Pussy Magnet


    We sort of feel like this guy wasn't looking for cats.




  • Holy Sh*t


    Don't worry, there are more dirty puns where that came from.




  • Free Mammograms


    As long as there's no copay.




  • Mangina


    If you wear this, it's the closest you'll come to seeing one that night.




  • Naked Grandmother


    Why is the blacked-out tooth part of it?




  • "The Shocker" Costume


    Make sure you include the hand gestures so you get the point across that you're a complete douche.




  • Tampax


    Ladies?




  • Heartbreak Clown Thong


    Dressing up as a heartbroken clown has never been ... sexier?




  • Sexy American Indian


    Pocahantas didn't even dress this sexy.




  • "Dept. Of Erections" Costume


    For a con, he looks pretty pleased with himself.




  • "Beastiality" Costume


    No more beer for this guy.




  • Poop


    Looking like sh*t has never been so cute.




  • Banana Flasher


    Of all the costumes that scream "I have a penis!" this has got to be the most frightening.




  • "Droopers" Costume


    Would you take a shot with this guy?




  • "Sperm Man" Costume


    We don't even want to know what his superpowers are.




  • The 69


    For those mischief-makers who enjoy holding plastic props to their bodies all night long.




  • A Knight To Remember


    EEEEWWWWWW.




  • ???


    Just in case you wanted to dress up as "WTF" this Halloween.




  • The "Biggest Show On Earth"


    Nothing says class like wearing a circus tent on your crotch. (Thanks for the tip, Karen!)




  • "Country Lovin"


    The commercial version is so much more disturbing than the homemade version.




  • Used Pad Man


    Steady blood flow, meet steady alcohol flow.




  • Trash Can Baby


    He has low self-esteem.




  • Birthing Woman


    Now your roommates know why you've been practicing your birth face in the mirror for so long.




  • Franzia


    Wine in a box continues its tradition of being the least romantic thing ever.




  • Hung Like A Horse


    Real subtle.




  • Vibrator


    Dild'oh!




  • Toilet Time


    These guys must really, really love each other.




  • Penis Man


    In case anyone was wondering why Spencer's Gifts was sold out of mock penises this year.




  • Sexy Etch-A-Sketch


    We feel like this is going to end in some shaking accidents later in the night.




  • The Human Centipede


    Halloween couldn't be complete this year without a good old-fashioned Human Centipede costume.




  • Vagina Dentata


    A feminist twist on the ubiquitous vagina-head costume worn by frat boys everywhere.




  • Unkempt Lifeguard?


    WHY?




  • "Zombie Fetus" Costume


    When you decide to pull off an extremely creepy costume, it's best to let your attitude match it. Yeah, it's a dead baby but she's cool with it.




  • Beer Dispensing Boobs


    Let's see the St. Pauly Girl do this.




  • "Rub Me" Genie


    More like Alad-<em>don't</em>.




  • Hitler?!


    We've seen homemade Hitler costumes before (which are also ridiculous) but this commercial version just blows us away.




  • Snake Charmer


    Sometimes, knocking over every beer in front of you is a necessary sacrifice for the perfect sexual innuendo costume.




  • Furries??


    We're not quite sure what these are...but we have a feeling they're NSFW.





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